Fin in a Waste of Waters

"These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom....Leaning over this parapet I see far out a waste of water. A fin turns....I note under 'F.,' therefore, 'Fin in a waste of waters.' I, who am perpetually making notes in the margin of my mind for some final statement, make this mark, waiting for some winter's evening." (from Woolf's THE WAVES)

29 August 2006

Still slightly nervous, but significantly less so

Today, I called my neurosurgeon to ask if he had any results to report from the MRI I had done last Thursday. First, I talked to his receptionist: he's out of the office for the WEEK. And when he gets back next Tuesday, he'll be in surgery. Glad I called: I would've waited, worrying, like a sucker this whole time. But of course, this knowledge (while helpful), still doesn't decrease the wait-time. Mercifully, the receptionist retrieves the Dr.'s new surgical assistant to have a quick look at the films I dropped off at the office and at the radiologist's findings:

So the radiologist at Carle reported finding "progression." My Dr.'s SA, though, found this to be completely unsubstantiated: he said that there was evidence of neither tumor growth nor any measurements. So he thinks that the Carle radiologist just worded it in a really bad way (REALLY glad I went to my guy before I called Carle: full panic would have set in if I had just had that report!), and that it's "nothing to lose sleep over." He will, of course, have my actual Dr. look at both the report and the films when he gets back in the office.

And this is where we're at now for at least a week. I do feel slightly better after the SA's explanation, but I have to say, even just having the word "progression" appear on any of my MRI reports is less than soothing.

(I have to add that it's been absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to work these last few days. Impossible. I did manage to scout around some more grad programs' websites, enough to even rule out one school, but that's it. I have zero concentration right now, with the exception of my inordinate attraction to anything salty & crunchy.)


At 1:15 AM, Blogger o.a.k. said...

my dear girl. show em what you're made of. you WILL get through this!

i'm reading ragtime by doctorow. it's an american lit class. you know me and american lit.

my dear, looking forward to sunday!!! ooh, that chai sounded gooooood.


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