Fin in a Waste of Waters

"These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom....Leaning over this parapet I see far out a waste of water. A fin turns....I note under 'F.,' therefore, 'Fin in a waste of waters.' I, who am perpetually making notes in the margin of my mind for some final statement, make this mark, waiting for some winter's evening." (from Woolf's THE WAVES)

06 September 2006


So. Today I talked to my surgeon's nurse; he'll talk to me next Thursday, but she gave me some details today, about which I will update everyone here. Uh, so remember how my surgeon had said he got all of the tumor that summer, two summers ago, when I had the surgery? Turns out that he didn't actually. Because the pathology came back Grade 2 - still benign, but borderline - it meant that the tumor was still a free agent, I guess. I had taken it as: "Yay, he got it, and it was benign!!" Whereas it was actually: "Well, we got it, sort of - it could come back benign, or perhaps someday cancerous."

Well, it's come back. But, only by a fraction, thank God. It looks like I have another year's lease on life. Which means I get to do my Fulbright.

Which means I'd better stop wasting time not working because I'm panicking about these things, and better start writing like there's no tomorrow, 'cause really, how long do any of us really have?


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